Here is what I thought
about Kelly Clarkson's new album, “Wrapped In Red.” Remember –
all scores are out of a possible 10 points.
“Wrapped In Red”
- Girl. I just got slayed by Kelly's vocals. This is why I love
Kelly – her voice is fantastically amazing. While the lyrics were a
bit all over the place, Kelly sings the hell of it and made me happy
at the same time. This song is totally DQW. (Drag Queen Worthy)
Score: 9
“Underneath The
Tree” - Um, no. I did not like this track at all. Kelly's
vocals came off screechy, the arrangement seems slapped together, and
the I did not get filled with holiday cheer. Score: 0
“Have Yourself A
Merry Little Christmas” - For the most part, Kelly sings this
standard straightforward. She does however take one note to the
heavens which works nicely. I like when she keeps it simple. Score:
8
“Run Run Rudolph”
- Hmmm. Kelly's vocals on this song are pretty fabulous, but the
arrangement feels cheap. It doesn't come off as polished or full
sounding – how disappointing. Score: 7
“Please Come Home
For Christmas (Bells Will Be Ringing)” - Sigh. This is one my
ALL TIME favorite Christmas songs and this arrangement just made me
sad. It felt like it was a beat too fast and while Kelly ran up and
down the vocal roller coaster, I just didn't connect with this song.
So sad. Score: 4
“Every Christmas”
- Oh sweet Jesus. Move along. Nothing to listen to here –
except for Kelly's fabulous vocals. Other than that I hated the
lyrics, the music, and the whole vibe. What a waste of a track.
Score: 0
“Blue Christmas”
- At least this track didn't piss me off. Kelly's vocals are fine
and all, but this track was missing an emotional connection. Score:
5
“Baby It's Cold
Outside” - This is my least favorite Christmas song of all
time. If a girl say she gotta go – she gotta go. Don't hold her
against her will. That said, Kelly and Ronnie Dunn did nothing to
make me like this song any better. Both of their vocals bored me as
they rushed to the end of this song. The piano playing was nice.
Score: 2
“Winter Dreams
(Brandon's Song)” - Now this feels like a Kelly Clarkson track.
Nice arrangement, great vocals, and it made me happy. Score: 7
“White Christmas”
- Kelly does a pretty good job on this one. I just would have
like it better had her voice been a bit more emotionally real. Score:
8
“My Favorite
Things” - At first I was all like, “Yea! A jazzy version of
this song!” It started off well, but then just jumped the rails and
never got back on track. Kelly's vocals come off crazy and the
arrangement annoyed me. I actually cringed at the end – not a good
sign for a holiday song. Score: 0
“4
Carats” - Sad. This
is how this song made me feel. Not only did it not put me in the
holiday mood, it made me feel stupider for listening to the whole
thing. Horrible lyrics make me hate this song. It felt like a song
that belongs in Legally Blonde – The Musical. I know Christmas has
become all about material things, but for real – the lyrics in this
song take it to the bottom level. Score:
0
“Just
For Now” - WTF?
No idea what this song is about. The lyrics are disjointed and the
music is referencing Carol of the Bells. This song depressed me and I
need something to clear my music palate. Score:
0
“Silent
Night” - Once
again, the first part of this song was growing on me and then the
last part pissed me off. They had Kelly harmonizing with some other
women which was unnecessary. Kelly doesn’t need back up singers –
they just screwed up her tone. I was hoping this was going to be
amazing, but all I got was annoyance. Score:
3
Average
Track Score: 3.8.
Would I recommend this my friends? Hell
no.
Not only would I not recommend this album, I would probably use the
CD as a yule log. I am going to put this in the darkest recesses of
my mind where I also put her movie, “From Justin to Kelly.”
Escalader,
Jim
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