Here is what I
thought of Britney Spear's new album, “ Britney Jean.” Remember –
all scores are out of a possible 10 points.
“Alien” - I'm
sorry, did the album start? I wasn't sure as this track put me to
sleep. What the hell was the point of this song? Score: 0
“Work Work” -
This is what I am talking
about. I love the attitude of Britney's vocals as she serves a little
bit of RuPaul on this one. This track is totally DQW. (Drag Queen
Worthy) Score: 9
“Perfume” -
Ew. The first ballad of the
album and it sucks. The lyrics are bitchy and petty. The vocals are
OK, but I expect more from Britney. What a waste of a track. Score:
0
“It Should Be
Easy” - A decent enough dance
track. Will.I.Am makes an appearance and strangely enough I like the
juxtaposition of their voices. This got my ass moving which is
always nice. Score: 7
“Tik Tik Boom”
- I got into this one. Another
fun dance song, I was thinking how many drag queens would be working
this onstage until I heard T.I. show up. His rapping is pretty
decent, but it wrecks it for any drag queen to do this number. Well,
unless they have a drag king perform with them. That could be kind of
hot. Score: 8
“Body Ache” -
Lyrically there is not much to
this track. The music seems like video game music. But it works on a
certain level. This is filler dance music, but it is good filler
dance music. Score: 7
“Til It's Gone”
- Another filler dance track.
As the last one, this one falls on the better side of filler. I just
don't think I will ever go back to this one again. Score: 6
“Passenger” -
Alright Britney, you impressed
me with this one. I liked the lyrics and the beats, but that damn
video game music has got to go. Score: 8
“Chillin' With
You” - What a crappy song.
Jamie Lynn's vocals were far better than Britney's but the whole song
is nothing to write home about. Next. Score: 2
“Don't Cry” -
The melody of this song is
somewhat interesting, but the subject matter is not. Um, Brit, aren't
you like 32? Is this the type of material you should be singing
about? It came off as juvenile. Next. Score: 3
“Brightest
Morning Star” - This song
didn't make me want to throw up, but then again it didn't compel me
to listen to it again. Its just so boring. C'mon Brit, get some
better songs – I know you have the goods. Stop giving us filler and
give us something killer. Score: 3
“Hold On Tight”
- I am so glad I listened to
this song. I have been battling insomnia for a week now and this song
put me right to sleep. For real. I fell asleep standing up. This song
is so boring, so lethargic, that it put me to sleep. Thanks for the
nap, but no thanks for this song. Score: 0
“Now That I
Found You” - What a hot mess.
This song is all over the place and never really made me care much
about it. Was that a banjo I heard? Score: 0
Average Track
Score: 4.1 Would I recommended
this to my friends? Not if I want them to keep being my
friends. How does Britney
Spears get to put this kind of crap out on an 8th
(!) album when there are so many talented bands and singers who never
get to put out one? Tragedy!
Escalader,
Jim
@draglover
– Follow me on Twitter!
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